marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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