this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
