Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
