He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
