He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
