we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
