i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize