Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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