Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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