i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I love you.
Bad choice
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
