She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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