i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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