Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
My life is pants optional.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize