the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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