I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
