There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
