hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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