Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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