I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
