marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
