Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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