I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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