As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize