did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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