Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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