I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I would fuck him just for his dog
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
