So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
