Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
