i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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