i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
