First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
