This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
