Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
