i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
