You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize