I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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