Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
