Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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