I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
