I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
3pm strippers are depressing
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
