Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
