my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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