if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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