somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
