haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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