i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
