Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
the raccoons are back...
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
