Your tits are I can't wait for
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
