Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
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