Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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