she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize