Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
