Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
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