it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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