Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
