Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Randomize
