OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Randomize
