Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize