This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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