We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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