Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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