I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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