she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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