she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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