sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
