I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
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