Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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