Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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