I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
