tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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