lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Randomize
